Random pictures...

These pictures are all located at Usal. It was my sister's 21st birthday and I agreed to camp with her and some of her friends. It was just Liam, Aiden and me- no Lu. I always have Lucas set up the tent while I do the other stuff. With it just being me I was a little apprehensive but also determined to do it on my own. I knew that I could, but it is always hard to have 2 kids on your own, camping. I finally did get the tent up. Got hot dogs cooking and we enjoyed marshmallows for dessert. We headed to the beach after dinner and played for a while. Usal was cold. It felt very mysterious and almost like we were on an island. It felt untouched, I guess. When we first got to the camping site there were Elk close by. I was a little scared because I wasn't sure if they were agressive. Anyway, I loved the feel of Usal that day. Feeling alone, one with the ocean, like you are the only one (still with two kids, of course) on the Earth and you are witnessing something so beautiful. The road to Usal was HORRIBLE. A friend of my sisters said that it isn't usually that bad and they must of not paved it after Winter. I'm sure it's due to budget cuts, etc. It was very hard on my car, but worth the 24 hours that we were there.

First and second day of Kindergarten...

Aiden went to his first and second day of kindergarten. He is taking it so well and it has not been as scary as I would of thought, considering other mom stories. I think the thing with me is that I have been home with my kids since they were born. I have witnessed everything, and I am okay with letting them go for part of the day (maybe even thankful). I love them to bits but being mommy 24/7 wears you down. Letting go is good, change is good, growth is good.

Liam is very excited for his school to start. We are still getting the potty training wrapped up though, so it will still be a couple more months. He has a tendency to forget that he has to go after a bit of playing and slips up every now and again. He hasn't pooped in his pants though, he's good at telling us about #2, thank god. It's just peeing the pants every now and again. Soon, though, very soon. I am a little more apprehensive about Liam going to preschool than Aiden at this point. I have two reasons for that. He is very likely my last baby and his life (in my eyes) always hangs in the balance. I know this sounds kind of morbid, but when you are faced with signing papers every now and again that say in the last sentence "and possibility of death", you are reminded over and over how small and precious and how short life is, but quite possibly more short for him. Since his birth, with no knowledge of the fact that he even had a heart defect, and then rapidly finding out and going from 0 (at home breastfeeding) to 100 (my 2 week old intubated and a machine breathing for him) my view on life is quite changed. As they say, "life is fleeting" and I (in consideration of all that has happened) am having a little harder of a time letting go of Liam. I always think that if I miss a moment of his life and somehow he did die unexpectedly, I would beat myself up for missing any moment. This is all coming up because of his looming catheterization (which we've been through 2, maybe 3 other times). I start preparing myself for the worst (hoping for the best, though) in case something were to happen: an infection, heart attack, blood clot, tear of the artery or the worst, death. I realize that there is not way to prepare for this, but it helps to realize what the possibilities are and remember that you've tried not to miss a moment.

Tomorrow Aiden has a field trip to the beach with his class. I think that Lucas will accompany them, maybe Liam too (anyone that wants to come is invited). I don't even know which beach, but Aiden is excited.

I still cannot get much of an answer about what he does. I know they sing a song or two a day. The teacher plays a small harp that fits on her leg (which I am sure is called something else). The kids get to pick "more time", which is to pick whatever it is you like to have more of. Aiden chose reading today. Oh, he was also class helper today. He got to lead the class whenever they went outside or it was time to go home. Lucas picked him up today and said that he was taking his job quite seriously.

Tomorrow school and then a little later is soccer practice; after that we leave for San Francisco. We are excited to visit family and have lots of fun in San Francisco. I hope to post many pictures after the trip (mid- to late next week).

Hold Liam in your thoughts and send him love on the air waves.

Getting Caught Up...

So this post has a double meaning; 1) I have not posted for so long that I am getting all caught up on pictures and, 2) I have been getting all caught up in my personal life and struggles that I have felt no want to post as of lately. Here are a few of the pictures that I have taken over the last few weeks, with more to come. As some of the family may know I had to take a hiatus from school. There have been hard things happening in my personal life and there was a need for some relief. Also, Lucas has been ramping up his car working schedule and that means that I need to take care of the kids more. We are trying to focus on what our top goals of the future are, and that includes buying property. To buy property we need to be making money, which we have not been doing since Liam was born. That's a long time. We have lived on my saved money for these last couple years and now that it is getting low it is time to refocus. Plus, online schooling is DAMN expensive. Sooo......with my hiatus from school for the next 90 days, I am able to post more. Hopefully I can keep to some kind of schedule without making this a chore. I love sharing our lives with everyone that so wishes to read, but I also get tired of it sometimes.

There is this cute little bunny that lives in our yard and comes out sometimes when we are playing on the swing set. It is a baby and it seems to live in the flowerbeds. It pops out, snacks on the fresh green clovery grass and then hops back in. The kids love seeing it. Unfortunately, after a couple weeks of it living near the house, it is gone. I am sure it is more grown now and doesn't need to hide out as much- or it got ate by whatever big thing is getting into our trash. Whichever, we are sad to see it go.

This is the butterfly home that I bought for the kids (well, it was Aiden's birthday present). We raised 5 caterpillars that eventually turned into 5 painted lady butterflies. We had fun raising them, but unfortunately never got a chance to actually see one born, which was my goal of getting it- I mean, come on, how often do you get to see a butterfly born. The boys had fun releasing them on a beautiful day after keeping them for a bit after they had all been born.